The Bags You Drag

bag·gage
ˈbaɡij/
noun
1. personal belongings packed in suitcases for traveling; luggage.
2. past experiences or long-held ideas regarded as burdens and impediments

Ever heard “Bag Lady” by Erykah Badu? The first thing she says in the song is “Bag lady, you gone hurt your back dragging them bags like that” 

Some of us are hurt, super hurt by what has happened to us over years. Although some of us had the ability to forgive for the sake of moving on, we typically never forget. We never forget how someone made us feel. We never forget the betrayal thrown at us. We never forget how we did everything to make something work, just for in return, it be thrown back at our face! We’re mad! If we’re not mad, we’re bitter. And if you can’t admit you’re bitter, can you at least admit that you hold a little baggage from those experiences? 

Can you admit that the relationships that fell apart are ones you put your trust in? Did mama let you down? Did daddy let you down? How about your significant other? Even our friends have let us down. All of these situations just build up, and build up in our heads. We store these experiences as compartments in our head. They then become baggage. Now you’ve discovered that your baggage is heavy, but yet you refuse to go anywhere without it. You refuse to go to a place of healing, fruitful relationships, or peaceful environments.

But nobody likes a lot of baggage, not buses, not airports, not even people.

Although, you may seem okay on the outside, the burden you carry is exposed through your attitude with people. You tell on yourself. Your attitude gives how you internally think away. For me, I always had a naturally sweet interior, but my exterior would most of the time be a little mean. 

I used to think being gentle was a weakness. I thought that way because when I’d exhibit gentleness before, I always got run over. People would think they can talk to me crazy. I wasn’t and still am not for disrespect. If I felt disrespected I would come for the person ten times more disrespectfully. But, I had to examine where I got the idea that I need to always get back at someone. I had to examine why I thought it was okay to tear someone down because they said something hurtful to me. 

I realized it was planted in me through my clashing relationship with mama, and it was watered through situations I dealt with involving people. I was always on defense with people no matter who it was because I thought they can turn left in a matter of seconds. I had this defense with strangers, friends, family, and I can admit I still have this defense when in dating situations.

We see people by the way we’ve been treated. So therefore we must guard our hearts. But we don’t have to carry our experiences with us to our new situations. To be a little deeper with you, you don’t have to carry your insecurities from being physically, emotionally or, sexually abused with you to a new relationship. We don’t have to carry the unfaithfulness of our past significant other. We don’t have to string along bitterness from how our parents treated us to our own kids. You don’t have to carry those burdens, so leave them right where you are. I promise you, if you keep carrying heavy baggage it’s going to slow you down.

It’s time to unpack and unload.

It’s time to be honest with yourself on why you’re so insecure. It’s time to be honest with yourself on why you treat people the way you do. It’s time to stop blocking people out whether it’s intentionally or accidentally. How can you ever experience a new thing in your life when you’re living in an old mindset? How can you ever experience the love you deserve when you’re living in synonyms to hate? Its okay my love, rest your burden down.

I know you thought that baggage was taking up too much space anyway.

Let God work on that heart of stone. Let his love drive out the fear and insecurity within you. Allow God to send people to you who can love you. You don’t have to trust people, but, you can trust God to send you the right people who can love you properly. These people can even help you unpack if you let them.

Blessings!

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