Every so often I’d like to put up a blog post called #unrevealedqueenthoughts. They will be short and sweet random thoughts that cross my mind every so often.
Today I present to you:
#unrevealedqueenthoughts : The Miscommunication of the Man
In the past few years, despite being in my early twenties I have started to keep my options open to having a relationship. I’ve put a lot of thought into what I want and what I don’t want. My check list each year either shortens or widens with more specific qualities. While I am focussed on other endeavors, I still believe that potential love and marriage should be a priority in my life. I even look at my qualities from time to time and see if I possess the qualities that I look for. But sometimes in exasperation I think “What is the point?!”
There is something that happens between infatuation and the dissolution of the relationship. It’s the inevitable.
See, I love deep anyone who has the privilege of entering my personal space. I cook well. I’m a great listener. I’m considerate. I’m beautiful. I’m extremely encouraging and I’m emotionally mature for the most part.
But all of those characteristics don’t matter to the modern day man of 2016. And I promise this is in no shape or form a male bashing post. There’s so much good about our brothers. But right now I’m addressing something real.
Y’all brothers play too much! The inconsistencies, the ability to avoid communication like the plague, the runarounds, the okeydokes, it’s so exhausting to try and date today, for real.
Maybe it’s the culture, maybe it’s because we as humans don’t like to invest time anymore. We want the microwave relationships, just add water, stir and voila. But I can’t keep up anymore.
Call me old fashioned, but I want the storms as much as the fair weather, I want the waiting as much as the gratification, I want the patience as much as I want the passion. I want to know my foundation with a man is solid. But I never get there with these men. Why?
Because to me, it seems that at the first sign of discomfort men run. It’s like they mentally break down in their heads what’s going on but they forget to relay the message to the person they’re dating. Then us females will be in limbo wondering if it’s something we said or the way we said something. Question, after question, women examine themselves and we ask our girlfriends, guy friends, cousins, and brothers what went wrong. And although they might have legit advice, they can never truly tell us like that specific man can.
And I’m over it! I’m over the guessing games. I’m over ransacking my brain to see if it was me or him. I’m over feeling like I’m unknowingly competing for one man’s attention. I’m tired of the mind games. I’m tired of automatically not believing a man when he says he is going to do something because 9 times out of 10 he won’t. Just speak up and speak truthfully. It’s never that hard, never.
At the end of the day, the guy who does all that stuff is pretty much silently communicating he isn’t the one, but why are we left to decipher codes when we could just simply speak our heart’s truths? I feel there has to be a more mature way for a man to say these things. I mean, we’re both adults right?
I don’t ask for much, so I’m not putting up with bare minimum men anymore. Give me consistency, character, and communication, if not, just leave me alone. Don’t bother me just to ruffle my feathers and waste my time.
Men, brothers, I love y’all, this doesn’t go for all men needless to say, but a lot of you need to get it together 😆
Anyone care to agree?