Redefining Who You Are

Last week I talked about masks and how we wear them to cover up our true selves. But I forgot to mention an important step that takes place after taking off the mask, and that is redefining what you were told about yourself that drove you to put the mask on in the first place.

Why do you have to redefine what you were told about yourself?
All these years you’ve might of accepted lies about yourself because you didn’t truly know they were indeed lies.

“You’re not beautiful”-Lie.

“You’re lonely and always will be”-Lie.

You’re not smart enough to finish school”-Lie.

“You will never have and don’t deserve to have a good relationship”
-Lie. Lie. Lie.

So how do you redefine?

Well, you recounter the lies with truth. 

I am beautiful.
I am never alone with God.

I am adequate enough to finish whatever God has started in me.

I am worthy of true love.

But, redefining doesn’t just start by words, it’s starts by living in those words and furiously pursuing who you really are or want to be, even when circumstances, and experiences contradict it.
In case you missed it I’ll say it again, redefining starts by living in those words, even when circumstances, and experiences contradict those words.

There is a scripture in II Corinthians that says “for we live by faith not by sight”
So when you don’t see yourself finishing school, that doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen.
When you see that you’re in a state of unhappiness that doesn’t mean things won’t change.

“Your perception is your reality.” -Lee Atwater

Key word is perception. Two people can look at the same thing and see it in two totally different ways. I see the cup half full, and you might see the cup half empty.
There still is a cup of water, catch my drift?

I used to define myself as shy when really I was just quiet, and not big on having meaningless conversations just to hear myself speak.
I used to define myself as blunt because I liked cutting to the point and calling people out when they’re not being straight with me.
I used to define myself as unhappy because I was single and didn’t have a man to make me feel good about my insecurities. *ouch*
Sometimes redefining means defining the ugly truths we have too. 
I had to redefine my ” I’m so independent, don’t need anybody especially not a man, because I’m a bad female canine” narrative I had going on from middle school (yes I’m embarrassed too, Lord knows I had the nerve to be 13 claiming I’m independent living in my mama’s house)to midway through college.I had to tell myself the truth and say the reason I claim I don’t need anybody is because I’m hurt by the times I did need someone (especially a man) and I felt abandoned. I had to tell myself I’m devaluing myself by referring to the woman that I am in such a derogatory and disrespectful manner. I had to redefine myself and say I’m not who I think I am but I’m actually an insecure girl who needed to emotionally grow up.  

Like I said, ouch.
To your own self be true” – I don’t even know who wrote this one, I’m just feeling quote-y in this blog 

Redefining ain’t easy!Telling the truth about yourself isn’t easy! But we must do it! We must redefine the labels, the wrong perceptions, and the stereotypes we’ve accepted as truth in our life just because somebody said it. Or just because you said it.

Or just because you once were it.

You are under no obligation to live up to anyone’s perception of you.

All that matters is that you’re living to God’s expectation of you, and the great thing about that is he prepares you to naturally change as he changes the circumstances of your life. How you redefine today, may not look like 2021’s definition of you. 

But, as you redefine throughout life whether it be from broken to whole, depressed to joyful, broke to abundantly living, weak to strong, passive to persistent, single to married, always, always, always realize WHOSE you are. 

Allow God to consistently be Author and Finisher to every change, edit, and climax to your life.
As you redefine, always define yourself in Him.
Be blessed Queens.


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